“People treat me like I am invisible and I can’t figure out what I am doing!” Janice
SITUATION
Janice and I are running partners. It has become an important part of our week to process our lives and gain new awareness into repeated patterns showing up in our life. Janice often talks about feeling invisible in her life. Whether it is a sales clerk, one of her children, her boss or her boyfriend. I have to mention, Janice is a very capable, independent, loyal and knowledgeable woman and most definitely overqualified for her current job. With that being said, Janice is also a levelheaded person who seems to attract drama prone people into her life.
OBJECTIVES/GOALS
Last Saturday during our run, Janice said “that was it” -no more being invisible. And she asked me to help her out of the world of beige and into the world of red, blues, yellows and oranges. In her world, beige is invisible and drama is color. So she asked if I would help her color her world in which she often felt invisible.
SOLUTIONS
My first question to her was, “What is the underlying theme that is running in two problem relationships? Together we identified it was money. One, with a sales clerk, Janice didn’t have enough money. And the other, Janice may have cost a client money.
Being able to identify a similar theme in both situations made it easier for her to break down the pattern of feeling invisible. By understanding that being invisible was an old pattern that has plagued her most of her life she felt empowered that she could resolve it and stop living a beige life.
“AH HA” BREAKTHROUGH MOMENT
Janice realized she had been blind-sighted by the different faces of drama. Remember, Janice is a straight shooter so she assumes everyone else is also. And she discovered another parallel--dramatic people.
Through my persistent questioning her about what was she really feeling – she had her” ah ha” moment and realized being invisible was linked to money and drama.
Her second “ah ha” moment came when she mentioned that a shopaholic buys to not feel their feelings and then she said quite innocently, “I don’t spend money - so to not feel my feelings!??!” We both got chills all over.
And her third “ah ha” – she said, it is very interesting that I am an accountant.
Wow, three “ah ha” moments in one run.
RELEASING AN EMOTIONAL BLOCK
When Janice realized that she has dramatic people in her life in order for her to find her own value, she was able to look at both situations with new eyes and take herself out of the equation. She was able to observe what was really going on in both situations. She saw the link between money and the value, or lack of value, that she placed on herself.
Once she was able to just observe and not react to defend herself, the house of cards started falling and she knew - that really was it!
BREAKTHROUGH RESULTS
In reviewing both situations, Janice could detach from her client’s drama over- compensating; and also detach from the sales clerk drama—desperation and only seeing clients as dollar signs.
RESULTS
Janice now understands that both situations do not have to repeat themselves because she “got” that “invisible” was trying to teach her about value and now she can wear beige and feel great, knowing that beige is only a color she is wearing, not living. After all it is only a light shade of color. As for drama --not a problem--because she knows it isn’t hers!
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